More Than You Really Need To Know About Birdmonster
15 JUL 2010
A Press Release From Birdmonster HQ
As you may have heard, the Golden State Warriors were sold today. Birdmonster's bid of $45 and a complimentary acoustic cover show comprised mainly of Kool and the Gang standards was rejected. We were saddened by the process but understand the outcome and wish the Warriors and their great fans the best of the luck.
Further, we've decided to turn lemons into rock and roll juice drank and play tomorrow night (that's Friday, July 16th) at the Uptown in Oakland. Misirlou will be joining us and we hope you will too. The set will be dedicated to Dan Gadzuric. Doors at 9, kickassness following shortly thereafter. Do come out.
15 JAN 2010
In which Birdmonster plays Bottom of the Hill twice, saves planet once
It's 2010; it's officially the future. As a child, John Lithgow promised that this was "The Year We Make Contact", and, while that was a little ambitious, I was at least hoping for flying cars or a robot harem who would peel my grapes and fan me with palm fronds. Instead, we've got smart phones we can watch "The Jersey Shore" on. I'd rather not think about the ramifications.
Beyond wishing you a happy year of the tiger, we're chiming in with news, news about a pair of shows and a compilation CDs that's for a good cause so if you don't buy one it means you hate planet Earth and you should feel really guilty about it.
01- As you're all abundantly aware of, we enjoy Bottom of the Hill. In fact, I don't even have a house anymore, just a cot in their kitchen. They leave me a little bowl of kibble at night and I bark when raggamuffin come around. It works out well for everyone. But next Friday, the 22nd, we're actually, you know, playing there. We're playing with West Indian Girl and it's $10 and we're supporting, so if you come, come early. Chat. Drink. Chat while you drink. It's been a while and we're feeling frisky. (18+, by the way).
But wait: there's more. We're playing at Bottom again the next month, February 19, with Boy in the Bubble, Here Come the Saviors, and Girl Band (may or may not contain actual girls). That one's 21 and up and they're both ten dollars and we'd love it if you came. Details for both shows here.
02- Mentioned above, we're on a complilation CD called 1% For The Planet. There are some fancy folks on there like Jackson Browne (a crossword favorite) and the always lovable Submarines. We put one of our favorite B-sides on there ("Yuma"---which, by the way, there are some videos of on our website) but, really, you get forty one (41) songs for nine dollars and ninety-nine cents ($9.99). It costs more to listen to a busker and not feel guilty.
And that's that. Happy New Years, people.
14 SEP 2009
New Music, Old Books, Free Books or, These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things
Greetings all,
They say good things come in threes. The stations of the cross, for example, or the remaining members of Boyz II Men. Tomatoes, mozarella, and basil. And of course, triangles. Who could forget side angle side, angle side angle, the Pythogorean theorum? I could, as it turns out, so, really, let's just move on.
We're emerging from our hibernaculum for a trifecta of awesome. Please enjoy the following:
01- B-sides
Yes, yes. A while back, we recorded a CD. It was called "From the Mountain to the Sea." Perhaps you bought it. Perhaps your friend bought it and burned it for you. Perhaps you stole it out of my man purse. No matter. When we were recording, we ended up with a handful of songs we still loved but that were deemed too awesome for the CD. Either that or we'd already selected the stuff we thought sounded best. Again, I can't quite remember. The point is, we're putting out the B-sides, we're letting them out for air, and we are letting you know with this longwinded, rambling paragraph. Plus, with the economy blah blah blah jobs blah blah unemployment, it's a bargain at $4.99. It comes out on the 22nd, but only on iTunes. It's because I'm Steve Jobs in one of those Scooby Doo masks.
Please check out a free sample. It's like walking by See's candy, except with music.
02- Listening party
Since we're putting out new material we thought we should get drunk. Or at least listen to it in a bar. So that's what we're doing. On the 16th, we'll be pow-wowing at Mini Bar on Divisidero around Fulton and McAllister. There's no cover and, since the EP's called "Blood Memory," we'll be making drinks with blood oranges. See what we did there! You can also get other booze, but you will be mocked mercilessly. We'll be DJing too, between Birdmonster jams. If the odds of me playing "Apologize" or "Lady in Red" were race horses, they'd be chalks.
03- Bottom of the Hill Benefit for the Potrero Library
We're heading back to one of our favorite Ess Eff haunts to raise some money for a library. Reading, as you well know, is fundamental. And free books are fantastic. Please join us on the 26th of this month, during the day, from 1:30 onwards. The money goes to a good cause (read: not Birdmonster, but Librarymonster) and we'll play an extra fantastic show, since we're playing for the good of Mark Twain and his closest million friends.
Alright lovelies. Have a fine day.
03 AUG 2009
A brief something for your Monday
Greetings one and all. Just a brief note today to inform you that a) since I fell out of metal when Limp Bizkit hijacked it (all for the Nookie, so they say), installment three has taken copious amounts of research. By research, I of course mean watching videos in which half-naked women resort to cannabalism and goateed longhairs sing like a larengitis-ed Cookie Monster. It will be up shortly, as soon as I understand the difference between "Black Metal," "Doom Metal" "Sludge Metal" and "Sludgy Black Doom Metal."
I'm barely joking.
B) is simply a heartfelt thanks to everyone in Berkeley. We had a phenomenal time, and, though Pete's vocal cords sounded the next day as if he'd been gargling with pebbles, we'd play again rightrightright now. Circularly, I even got to talk metal with Irish women, one of whom called Opeth "brilliant," which I've discerned is the British/Irish way of saying "awesome," yet, somehow much cooler. Loved the Mother Hips too. They were awesome. Or brilliant. Or brilliantly awesome. You can slice that anywhichway you want. The best time I've had at a show in quite some time so, definitely, thanks one and all.
C) Sorry about Chico. See below for salty bitterness.
01 AUG 2009
The wisdom of Lionel Hutz, or, News about Chico tonight...or rather, not-Chico tonight
Lionel Hutz, as you should well know, was a criminally incompetent lawyer on the Simpsons. This was before Phil Hartman's wife got all stabby and they had to retire the character, thus setting back the cause of comedy for dozens of Rob Schneider-flavored years. Those were dark days, friends.
There's this Halloween episode where Homer has sold his soul to the devil for a donut and the Simpsons hire Hutz to try and get Homer's soul back. After the Devil's prosecutor calmly asserts that Homer signed over his soul in a contract, Lionel Hutz offers this rebuttal: "That was a right-pretty speech, sir. But I ask you, what is a contract? Webster's defines it as "an agreement under the law which is unbreakable." Which is unbreakable! Excuse me, I must use the restroom."
After which, of course, he escapes out the window above the shitter.
Now, I bring this up, because we signed a contract to play Chico tonight and a contract, supposedly, is unbreakable. Lionel Hutz said so. But then the promoter and contacted us and said "Oopsies, nevermind. Will you play for a handful of M&Ms and a small burlap sack filled with mysterious, soggy things?" to which we said "No thank you." Then he escaped out the proverbial bathroom window.
Point being, we can't play Chico. I was all giddy about it too. If you bought tickets and were similarly screwed by unscrupulous jackassery, please feel free to email us birdmonster@gmail.com with a confirmation of said sale and we'll throw you on the guestlist to any show of your choosing. Unless, of course, it's the promoter's wedding. That's a private party for which we're getting $400,000. Oh wait. Hold on, my phone's ringing. Uh-huh. No more $400,000 wedding? What's the offer? An expired gift certificate to Starbucks? And a jaunty cowboy hat? We'll get back to you.
